Title:   Phoenix Rising

Series: Wind & Rain  - Part XIII

Author: Barb Marx

Pairing:  Ezra/ofc 

Universe:  ATF

Archive:  http://het_oasis.tripod.com/hot4het.html (adult pages)  

(Authors note: OFCs' first names changed in Web version)

Summary: Dealing with the pitfalls life throws at us isn't easy, but Adrian has found a way.  Doesn't mean it's the right way, or the best way…

Open fandom: Open fandom: Yes, and if you wish to discover another side to some of these, read TJ's Aftermath, First, you stumble, and Then you fall

Rating: PG 

Disclaimer: The M7 characters are owned by Trilogy, MGM and Mirisch, No copyright infringement was intended. For sheer entertainment.

Acknowledgement & Dedication: Thanks, Sis, for everything!

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Phoenix Rising

A new day dawned…

Adrian would no longer see them as just another day of the week. The brunette would now mark the movement of the sun and the moon in terms of when she was reborn.

Sunday… her first full day of rebirth. It proved to be a cool, clear morning. The old Delaney would have thought the weather was perfectly beautiful. The new, harder Adrian now just didn't care. Her only goal was survival. She didn't take the time to admire the clear sky or the last vestige of Fall's vibrant color before winter blanketed the land.

Adrian was exhausted. Her mind hadn't let her sleep. Nebulous nightmares plagued the brunette each time she moved into a REM pattern.

Looking at her alarm, she groaned… six o'clock. Thinking there was no justice in the world, she hauled herself out of bed. Delaney stood in her room trying to decide on whether she needed caffeine or a shower. The desire for clean hair won out and she shuffled into the bathroom.

Standing under the stream scrubbing at her sable locks, the tired woman was certain that she was missing something.

A half hour later, Adrian was sitting at the dinette sipping a badly needed cup of tea and reading the local paper. Her mind was still fuzzy and if asked, couldn't tell you what she was looking at.

The Canadian had a routine when it came to consuming the daily periodical. First were the comics, then the sports section. A loyal hockey fan, the hazel-eyed woman made it a point to keep up with her favorite team. Finally the brunette moved onto the local happenings, with international events bringing up the rear.

Ezra used to tease her for this… "No I'm not going there!" Delaney muttered flicking each page in agitation. 'He doesn't matter anymore…'

Focusing her attention back to the local news, the brunette stared at the headlines,

            ATF BUSTS GUN LORD

Closing her eyes and shaking her head, the hazel-eyed woman groaned, "great, just great…" She had totally forgotten that Travis had requested for her to come in and collate the three team's reports yesterday.

With a few unladylike curses, Adrian rushed to get dressed. 'Of all the stupid things to do, Delaney. Brush off work because your love life went to hell. Good impression with the brass...'

Grabbing her wallet and keys, the brunette was out the door and jogging to the bus stop within minutes.

By eight o'clock Delaney arrived at the office, grateful to find no one there.

Groaning as she approached her workspace, the assistant was dismayed at the disaster that was her desk. Adrian sat down and started going through the piles strewn haphazardly over the surface.

It took hours to organize the material, as she painstakingly made sure that the papers littering her desk matched the information on the disks provided. Amongst the individual reports were the notes started by Kate. The blonde had been instrumental in compiling the information gathered by Team Seven. Her scribed jottings must have inadvertently been included when Larabee dropped off his information. As much as she wanted to, Delaney found no fault with the work Lansky had done. Unfortunately, every time she saw the blonde's neat, precise script, it chipped away at the wall she'd built the night before. Anger, confusion and despair all ran through the brunette as she attempted to concentrate.

A few more hours passed before the Canadian had a report she'd be willing to put her name to. Looking at the document, Adrian ran through what would happen next. She needed to make one volume to present to Travis for him to sign off on. It would then go down to Debbie for the blonde administrator to replicate the required number from the original disk.

Delaney sighed, remembering the conversation she'd had with her boss regarding report duplication. It seemed to be such a pain having to turn out the statement seven times off the floppy, instead of just once, then photocopying it. When the copies were completed, they would be returned to the AD, who would then sign each one as an original, rather than having to certify anything as duplicates.

That in mind, Adrian printed off the report and ran downstairs to the third floor. Locating the binding machine she quickly punched and coiled the document and returned to her office to place it on Orin's desk.

Looking at the clock on the wall, Delaney sighed, three o'clock, "now what do I do?" she muttered. Turning to look out at the Denver skyline, Adrian felt lost. Why was she still in Colorado? She really had nothing to stay for. It could be argued that she had her job, but employment could be found anywhere. Hell, she could always go back to Canada, see if that position in England was still available. She had no friends, at least not any more, no ties, nothing to keep her here.

'You have Ezra' the small voice in the back of her mind whispered.

'NO! Haven't you been paying attention?' she wanted to scream at it. The brunette didn't have Standish, perhaps she never did.

The hazel-eyed woman turned away from the view and gathered up her jacket. After signing out, Delaney found the closest bus stop and headed back to Josiah's.

Once home, Adrian was grateful that Sanchez was out. Changing into her pj's, she wandered around the kitchenette cleaning the remains of her morning's haste. Feeling a bit light headed, Delaney realized that other than the tea she had that morning, she hadn't eaten since Friday. Not feeling up to anything heavy, she made herself some chicken noodle soup and a peanut butter and apple sandwich, the ultimate in comfort food from her childhood.

Meal consumed and tidied, the hazel-eyed woman grabbed a novel and crawled into bed. She fell asleep midway through a chapter. Morpheus taking pity, allowed Delaney to sleep in peace…

~~7~~

Readying herself Monday morning, Adrian wondered how she was going to manage working in the same building as 'them'. Thankful for being on a different floor, Delaney could only hope to keep everyone at bay, to shut down her emotions, and concentrate on doing her job.

Just as she was ready to leave, a knock on her door sounded. Opening it, Delaney came face to face with a smiling Josiah.

"Good morning, Adrian. I was wondering if you would like to ride in with me?" the big man asked.

Adrian wanted nothing more than to tell the man 'no', but looking into his hopeful blue eyes, the brunette caved. "I would like that, thanks."

Driving along the relatively quiet streets, Josiah glanced over at the woman sitting next to him. Carefully, he contemplated how he was going to get her to talk. He had spent the weekend wondering what her aberrant behavior Saturday was all about. He just didn't know how to approach her without re-igniting that anger.

Delaney knew that Sanchez was determined to find out what was happening. She cringed thinking about her tantrum, and figured that the profiler was desperate to know what caused it. Adrian really wanted to confide in him, to ask his advice, but was prevented from doing so, for one simple reason. Josiah was everyone's friend.

Just like his team mates, she knew the big man enjoyed Lansky's company, but more importantly, she understood with all certainty, how Sanchez felt about Ezra. She couldn't tell him what she saw without possibly damaging the relationship the two men had. Standish had confided in her that he felt a strange kinship with the big man. Their affair may be over… no was over… but that didn't mean she had to ruin the southerner's life. The small thought 'like he did mine' echoed in her head.

Taking a deep breath, Sanchez took the plunge, "Adrian? Are you all right?"

Such a loaded question, with so many ways to answer, unfortunately there was only one she could give him, "yes, I'm fine."

'Damn it!' he inwardly cursed. His magpie was clamming up. "You seemed upset on Saturday. I was wondering if there was anything I could help you with?" Josiah wished that she trusted him enough to open up.

'Please don't push' she begged silently, "I was having a bad day. But I'm alright, nothing to worry about." Delaney's tone made it clear that she wasn't going to say more.

"Ok, you know where to find me if you need anything," the profiler replied sadly, knowing it was futile to force her to talk.

The rest of the trip was spent in quiet contemplation, both occupied with thoughts neither knew how to articulate.

Once at the office, the two went their separate ways.

'I can do this,' Delaney thought to herself as she set up 'shop' for the day. She'd survived the ride in with Josiah; the rest of the day should be easy… at least that's what she tried to tell herself.

Looking at her agenda, Adrian started on the monthly reports for Team Two. She found it fascinating, the planning, and execution of a bust. Delaney had noted that each team operated differently and it killed her to admit that Team Seven was the most proficient.

Adrian had just sent the document to the printer, when Lansky sauntered in, completely engrossed in fumbling with some files. Apparently oblivious to Delaney, she waltzed right passed her, and without knocking, entered Orin's office.

The brunette sat there open mouthed, and her temper quickly flared. 'How dare that… that woman walk in like she owns the place!' she fumed. There are protocols… hell… it's just common courtesy to be announced. The brunette was so angry that she could hardly think straight.

The Canadian started savagely organizing some inter-office memos when one caught her attention. Re-reading it, the hazel-eyed woman smiled. 'Perfect' she growled and reached for the phone. A few minutes later, immensely satisfied, Adrian hung up and quickly typed up a note. Adding it to Travis' 'To Sign' folder, the brunette gave it a little pat, a feral grin, and started working on the budget report.

Lansky exited the AD's office fifteen minutes later, followed by Orin. "Oh, and Kate, when you get back downstairs, can you send Standish up?" he asked as he picked up his mail.

"Of course," the blonde said.

Not even cognizant of verbalizing her anger, Adrian growled as the object of her ire walked by. 'She'll have no problem sending him up' she thought to herself,  'Probably itching to see him,' the brunette's snide internal conversation continued.

Kate paused at the door, 'did she growl at me?' Shaking off the foreboding she felt, Lansky continued on her way.

After the blue-eyed woman left, Adrian had a brief panic attack. She so didn't want to see Ezra. What the hell was she going to say to the man? Unfortunately, other than hiding in the bathroom, she had no legitimate reason for not being at her desk.

~~7~~

Ezra stood transfixed outside the AD's office staring through the glass doors. Kate's announcement upon her return from meeting with Orin had been both a blessing, and a curse. Standish was thankful that he was able to see his heart's desire but loathing the confrontation that would occur between himself and Travis. Watching Adrian's unguarded face, he was fascinated at the play of emotions that he observed. He had a strange feeling that most of them were caused by him.

Another five minutes passed before Ezra took a step through the outer door.

Noticing Standish immediately, Adrian determinedly kept her eyes glued to her monitor and did her best to ignore the southerner. ‘Why is he staring at me?’ she asked herself. ‘It’s not as if he wants to see me… maybe that’s it… he doesn’t want to come in because I’m here. Well nothing I can do about it, I work here thanks to his friends’. There that’s the approach to take; he doesn’t care about me, there for, I won’t care about him.  A tiny forlorn voice deep within her heart cried out at that thought, but was ruthlessly thrust further down. Heart pounding she resolutely tried to ignore him and continue working.

Steeling himself, he continued through the portal and, in a couple of strides, found himself standing before Delaney's desk, patiently waiting for his presence to be acknowledged.

His scent hit her and it took all of Adrian's strength of will not to swoon. Bracing herself, she reinforced her wall and looked up. "Can I help you?" 'There, that was professional' she thought. He won’t get to me… he can’t…

"Ah believe Mr. Travis is expecting me," Standish replied. He really wanted to take his nymph in his arms and not let go.

Adrian nodded and buzzed the AD.

"Yes, Adrian?" the tiny voice spoke through the intercom.

"Agent Standish has arrived, sir," she couldn't resist the smirk that formed.

"Send him in," came the terse reply. Even through the speaker, one could tell that Orin was… less than pleased.

Fascinated despite herself, Delaney watched Ezra gather himself and slide his poker face into place. He nodded to the brunette who in turn, arched an eyebrow as he turned.

Not seeing the look, the southerner strode the final distance to the AD's office.

Adrian got the distinct impression of the man taking his last steps down the 'green mile' and muttered under her breath, 'dead man walking'.

Knocking, Standish straightened his spine and winced when Orin's bellow to 'get in here' was heard.

'Those of you about to die, I salute you' she thought as the undercover agent strode through the portal.

Five minutes into the meeting, Adrian gave up all pretence of working and sat back in her chair to shamelessly listen to the raised voices. She couldn't make out the exact words but the tone alone indicated that Standish was knee deep in shit. Part of her wanted to feel sorry for the agent but the hurting portion ruthlessly shoved that thought to the wayside and took great pleasure in eavesdropping on the verbal reprimand.

Realizing that the meeting was coming to an end, Delaney quickly brought her attention back to her computer monitor.

The door opened moments later with Orin hollering after Ezra to 'tell Larabee I want to see him!'

Visibly annoyed as well as disconcerted, the undercover agent strode towards the exit. As his hand reached out to the door, Adrian got the impression that Standish was going to turn around.

Delaney couldn't help herself and in a voice loud enough for only the green-eyed man to hear said, "another one bites the dust."

Standish stiffened and continued on his way.

The brunette closed her eyes and sighed… still alive after a direct confrontation with 'him'. Had she been asked this morning, Adrian wouldn't have given you good odds on being able to handle seeing Ezra today, let alone acting like she was unaffected by his proximity.

Once again Delaney lamented the fact that she worked in the same building as the man the man she once loved. 'You still love him' the little voice inside her heart said. 'No… no I won't, I can't' the newly created Adrian said, straightening as the vision of the two betrayers swam before her eyes.

Travis stepped out of his office at the same moment that Larabee walked into the lobby. Orin acknowledged his presence and turned towards Delaney, "This is excellent work, Adrian," he smiled, handing her back the summary. "I've highlighted some changes that need to be made. Some additional information came in this morning. Here are my notes that deal with them," he explained. Travis was extremely pleased with the report. The AD had been concerned that Adrian hadn't shown up on Saturday, but considering the quality of the document, she must have spent hours on Sunday working on it.

"Thank you, sir. It shouldn't take me long," Delaney replied taking the materials from her boss.

"Afterwards, could you transcribe these tapes, then return them to me?" Travis asked then turned to the waiting agent, "Chris, as you know, when you couldn't contact Standish on Saturday evening, I said I'd take the matter up directly with him…" Orin was commenting to Larabee as the door closed.

Adrian sighed, once again thankful that she had 'forgotten' to come in when she was expected.

Carefully working her way through the changes, Delaney did a final spell check and reprinted the report. While she waited for the office 'runner' to pick it up, Adrian gave it a thorough read. The 'gopher' would take the document to the third floor, wait for it to be bound and then return it.

Finally, the brunette was able to turn her attention to the dicta tapes that Travis had given her. As she started typing she was surprised to find that she was transcribing an Official Reprimand. As her fingers flew, Delaney was hard pressed to keep the grin off her face. Poor Agent Standish… Not! 'Tsk tsk, that's what you get for blowing off work to screw your boss's girlfriend' Adrian thought maliciously.

The brunette let her anger guide her fingers and she had the report finished much sooner than normal. Though there was an addendum to the reprimand that gave Delaney some pause. Travis outlined the events of Friday afternoon wherein Standish and Agent Murphy were 'sparing' in the ring. The match resulted in Murphy going to the hospital to have his jaw wired. It was being written up as an accident, but Adrian wondered if there was more behind the incident. She couldn't help but wonder 'what the hell was wrong with Ezra?' She had to give herself a shake, 'it wasn't her concern anymore. She was finished with the southerner.'

Giving it a quick read and a 'spell check', she printed it and set it with the report which had been returned a couple of minutes earlier.

The day was flying by, which Adrian was grateful for. All she wanted was to go home and sleep for a week. She was tired and out of sorts and even though she hoped her professional mask was in place, she could feel the cracks starting to widen.

Forty-five minutes later, Larabee finally left Orin's office. Chris didn't look happy but Delaney couldn't summon enough energy to care. All she wanted was for Travis to sign off on the report and the reprimand so that she could deliver them to Debbie and then get ready to go home.

The brunette had just finished the last of the inter-office e-mails when Travis 'buzzed' her. "Adrian, would you please bring your notebook and join me?"

Sighing, Delaney gathered up her steno pad and, taking a second to stretch, walked into Orin's office.

"Have a seat please," he gestured to the chair before him. "First of all, I want to thank you for your hard work on this report. It's first rate and will make the conviction that much easier for the District Attorney. Now down to the rest… I've gone through my mail and signed everything that you flagged. I have one question about this memo…" the AD trailed off as he handed her a piece of paper.

Adrian had a feeling she knew which one he meant and managed to keep her face calm as she glanced at it. "Is there a problem, sir?"

"Not really, just wanted to make sure that this was accurate," Travis sighed. He was thinking about the reaction this little bomb would have on his men.

"Unfortunately it's been 16 months since their last evaluation. According to regulations we can't put it off any longer or you chance them being taken off active duty," Delaney stated.  She had memorized the regulations when she discovered the documents in her mail.

Orin looked at his assistant and had the uneasy feeling that there was something he was missing. He didn't know what but knew that there was going to be hell to pay tomorrow, "Fine, I take it you've set it up and will inform those involved as soon as I've signed off."

"Yes sir, I have. As I've outlined there was a change of evaluators but it shouldn't cause too much of a problem." Adrian smiled at her boss, already thinking of the reactions her little memo was going to have tomorrow.

"Very well, I'll sign it. Just make sure that I’m unavailable for the next couple of days, alright?" Travis asked as he signed his name to the document.

Chuckling, Delaney gathered up the paperwork and stood, "I think that can be arranged, sir. As luck would have it, you have a couple of meetings that will take you out of the office for the next few days."

Travis laughed outright at that and sent Adrian on her way.

Exiting the AD's office, the brunette headed downstairs to the third floor and waited until Debbie was off the phone.

"Hey, Adrian, what's up?" the Texan asked as she joined Delaney at the counter.

"I have some things for you," handing over a diskette that contained the complete report to Montgomery, Adrian continued, "I'll need seven copies of this for Travis to sign."

"Gotcha, we now the drill. Seven copies taken directly off the disk, no photocopying," the blonde, quoted from memory and grinned. They all knew the AD's personal quirk about document reproduction.

Smiling, Delaney continued, "he's going to be the death of me. Even when I was with the Supreme Court of Canada we were allowed to photocopy documents. Just doesn’t make much sense, but there's no changing the man. Anyway, I need this to be added to Agent Standish's file, you'll have to send him a copy as well. Then I need you to send this out to Team Seven first thing in the morning." As she spoke, Adrian handed Debbie the reprimand and the memo from Travis.

"You've been busy today," the Administration Manager commented rifling through the documents handed her. She stopped when she got to the memorandum and her eye's widened. "Oh man, they're going to hate this. You sure that it can't be postponed?"

Adrian's eyes narrowed then arched, "no. Unless they want to be on desk duty, they will comply."

Debbie picked up on Delaney's mood and wisely let the matter drop. She wondered what the boys had done to piss off Travis' secretary. "Ok, I'll make sure it's delivered. You know the shit's gonna fly because of this?"

Smiling, even though it didn't reach her eyes, Adrian nodded, "I've got a big shovel. If I can't dig my way out, I'll start swinging. Anyway thanks for all this. I'll need the report done as soon as possible. I've got to get copies to all the team leaders and send it off to the DA as well. I'd appreciate it if you can get it to me tomorrow morning?"

Instinctively knowing that she wasn't going to get anymore out of Delaney, the Texan got back to business, "should be ok, we don't have anything that's urgent so we should be able to work on it first thing in the a.m."

"Thanks, Debbie, you're a gem," Adrian smiled and this time her eyes reflected her appreciation.

With that, Delaney said good-bye and headed back to her office. Looking at her watch she realized that it was finally time to shut down for the day. Before leaving, the brunette checked her voice mail and found a message from Josiah asking if she needed a ride. Adrian quickly called the big man back and accepted his offer. The sooner she went home, the sooner she could crawl into bed and cross another box off the calendar.

The profiler met his tenant in the garage. He studied the brunette as she walked to wards him.  Adrian looked tired and the light in her eye was missing. Whatever occurred during the last month was taking its toll on the usually vivacious woman.

'Damn it!' he's analyzing me again, Delaney thought as she approached Sanchez. It was just her luck to be living with a psychologist; he was always on the job. Adrian just hoped that he couldn't see what shape she was truly in.

The two talked quietly on the way home, neither delving into serious topics. When they arrived at the house, they went their separate ways.

Closing the door behind her, Adrian leaned against it and closed her eyes. Looking around the small space, she kicked off her shoes and, shuffling to the couch, curled up on it. She couldn't help but review the day and was dismayed at the lack of control she had on her emotions. The way she took pleasure in Ezra getting in trouble… wanting to scratch Kate's eyes out, none of that was the real Adrian Delaney. This new woman that was rising from the ashes of her despair wasn't someone that the brunette thought she could like. Unfortunately, there was no other way to survive this. She was going to have to continue on her course and harden her heart.

 Resting her head on her arms, she slipped into a dreamless sleep.

TBC  

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